Watch!

Ian loves "watching" us make dinner or whatever we happen to be doing at the kitchen counter. He pushes a dining room chair into the kitchen and puts it right up against the cabinet so he can see what's going on up there on the counter. Sometimes, he "helps", but most of the time there are knives and other non-kid-friendly things involved, so he's relegated to watching. We soften the blow of not being able to help by feeding him appetizers of his favorite veggies: carrots, cucumbers, green (or red) peppers, tomatoes, etc. It's a great way to get some veggies in him before dinner even starts (so we're less worried when he only goes for the meat and starch at the table), and to keep him occupied while we work! Making dinner has become a family affair!

Reading with Dad

Hello! It's definitely summer! We've got Indiana's famous high-heat, high-humidity concoction of weather sitting right on our doorstep, and it looks like it's going to be staying for a while. The thunderstorms have moved away for a couple of days, but according to weather.com, they'll be back later this week to add more water to the too much we already have! Some of you may have seen reports about the flooding in our area. It's been pretty crazy. Two of my co-workers are still stuck in Indianapolis due to roads being closed between there and Bloomington. Hopefully, the water will start to recede soon and we won't have any more damage.

So because of the yucky weather lately, we've been spending more time indoors. Here's a video we took yesterday of Ian and Eric reading together in the nice, cool air conditioning.



Reading is one of our favorite family activities. There are many evenings where Eric and I don't even turn on the TV, but instead, sit in the living room and read. It's a very relaxing way to spend time together. Sometimes Eric even reads to me out loud, which is so much fun and a great way to share our favorite books with each other. Ian loves books, too, and we spend a lot of time reading to him each day. He has some favorites right now: Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go," "Winnie the Pooh and Honey Tree" (one of my personal favorites), and a library book called "Tough Trucks" that we recently ordered from Barnes & Noble because he likes it so much. We're finally getting away from just picture books and into the realm of books with more words on each page. He really seems to be enjoying stories now. It's fun to see your child developing interests in things you like to do as well!

Love and Logic

I recently finished reading a book called Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. Surprisingly enough, I had never heard of this book, or anything associated with it. I now wonder what kind of bubble I've been living in!

Apparently, it's this huge organization similar to, but smaller than, Focus on the Family, that primarily deals with discipline of children, both for parents and teachers. I decided to read it for two reasons: 1) it came highly recommended by my friend Anne, and 2) I was, after only two years of parenting, feeling a like I was exhausting all the possibilities when it came to effective discipline/correction of Ian -- who, by the way, is not a "problem child" or anything, but simply has a stubborn streak in him that Eric and I feel needs to be channeled in the right directions. I wasn't sure that all of our time-outs, spankings, and loss of privileges -- however lovingly they were doled out -- were achieving that desired effect. I have to admit, though, I went into reading this book with a bit of skepticism. After reading through some of their articles online, I had come away with the feeling that it was all a little idealistic. Afterall, parenting, like any relationship, is not a cut-and-dried situation, and there are really no "magic" formulas that will work for every child.

However, after reading just the introduction to the book, I quickly began to see that the authors had no intention of endorsing any kind of "quick-fix," but were really just using biblical principles of enforcing consequences. While there was nothing completely revelational about Love and Logic for me, it did give me tips about how to better teach my child to make good decisions in his life, without pandering to either extreme of forcing him to do so and hoping he'll just "get it" someday. Here are some things that were made more clear to me while reading this book:

1. Natural consequences for a child's actions are often much more effective than outright correction/discipline, especially when paired with genuine empathy for the child who is suffering from them. This is not to say that Eric and I will stop punishing Ian for very serious offenses, especially if they have little to no natural consequences for him at this age (or if the consequences are life-threatening or just too large for him at this age), but it does give us a few more options for correction.

2. Modeling responsibility works far better than teaching with your words. This is the wake-up call that every parent needs to be reminded of day in and day out: Your kids are watching you, even when you don't realize it!

3. Providing a child with choices, especially when both of them are 100% ok with you, goes a long way toward bolstering their confidence in themselves. It's amazing the number of situations I've noticed that I can offer Ian a choice rather than making it for him, even at his very young age of two. It takes a lot of pressure off of me, and makes him feel like a "big boy." My friend Anne is especially adept at this skill with her kids and has been a really good example for me.

4. Choices and consequences can be paired together for an amazing chance to teach responsibility for one's own actions. By offering a child two choices, one with a good consequence and one with an undesirable consequence, they get to make the decision themselves. This also has the added benefit of communicating boundaries without being controlling. Putting "the ball in their court" to make the decision, again, takes the pressure off of the parent to control their child's actions (which we really can't do anyway). For the child, the learning comes in suffering through the consequences.

So maybe to those of you who are reading this, all of this seems like, "Well, duh." But for me, it's been an encouraging resource that has provided some insight that I was not expecting. I feel like, with these general guidelines, I can strike a balance in my relationship with Ian (and hopefully any subsequent children). After applying some of these principles to our parenting over the past week or two, Eric and I are already seeing results in Ian's behavior and attitude toward us. It's been fairly liberating to remove the pressure off of ourselves to make sure he behaves, and instead to encourage him to behave, all the while ensuring he experiences the consequences of his behavior, whether good or bad.

I have no illusions that we've got this parenting thing all figured out! I'm quite certain that we'll continue to wrestle with exactly the best way to guide Ian "in the way he should go," so that "when he is old, he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6). By daily asking God for guidance and wisdom, we know that He'll teach us as we go along. I feel like this book, though, was an answer to that prayer for today.

Cheers to Seven Years!

We celebrated our seventh anniversary today! We're not sure why, but for some reason this year seems particularly celebratory. Maybe it's because of various things we've gone through in the past year...maybe it's because of the exciting future ahead of us...but, whatever it is, we're both so thankful that we have each other and we're anticipating the (Lord willing) many years we have left together. Marriage rocks!!

Anyway, here are a couple pictures from today:

At Bill and Lucy's, dropping Ian off before dinner

At Bombay House, our typical Bloomington anniversary dinner site

Ian with Lucy

Thank you to all of you family and friends out there who support us and encourage us in our marriage with both your words and your examples. We thank God for you, too!

Success!

Today marks a very important day in our family: Ian went the whole day in only one pair of underwear with no accidents!!! Needless to say, we are quite excited. As a testament to the considerable progress he's made in the past few weeks, here's a picture of his completed potty train:

Towards the end, he wasn't even asking for stickers after using the toilet, so when we got to the end of the chart a couple of days ago, we just stopped giving them to him, and he hasn't even noticed. Going to the bathroom "big boy style" is so much a part of his day by now, that he hardly gives it a second thought! He still loves reading books almost every time he's in there, but we enjoy that too because it's good time spent with him. All in all, potty training hasn't been that bad!

On a different note, I wanted to share with you all some pictures of Springtime in Bloomington. This year has been the prettiest we've ever seen here; Bloomington has certainly been living up to its name! The rain has come at just the right times and in the right manner to produce some amazing blooms all over town. Here are just a few of the pictures that I've taken in the past several weeks:

hyacinth & daffodil

forsythia & redbud

magnolia
dogwood

I absolutely LOVE spring! It's my favorite time of year. I didn't even get any pictures of the plethora of Bradford pear trees that line the streets of Bloomington, but let me assure you, they put on a stellar show this year as well. In our six years here, I've come to love the abundance of flowering trees and shrubs, as well as the the magnificent bulbs that Bloomington grows in early spring. I'm really going to miss living here.

Balloons and Underwear

by Lisa

We took this video of Ian last week and wanted to share it with you all!



Ian is doing really well with potty training! When we're home, he only has one or two little accidents a day, and 5-7 uses of the toilet. He's even doing pretty well at going when we're out and about. Some days, it takes a bit of patience, but he really is learning and we're seeing the end in sight! Already, we're doing a lot less laundry than when we were using diapers full-time (we use cloth diapers). All in all, this potty training thing has been a fairly positive experience!

A Pretty Day in April

I wasn't quite sure what to think yesterday as we drove to the title company to sign all of the paperwork to finish the sale of our house. I found myself spending most of the day in a reflective mood, because the sale of our house symbolized so many things. It would take me way, way too long to write here everything I observed or contemplated, but I thought that I would share a few "quick hitters" from the day.

Something that gets lost in our consumer culture is an understanding of the concepts of stewardship and ownership. In particular, the Christian concept of stewardship of God's resources is often twisted and perverted by capitalistic principles of ownership. This house was never mine; in actuality, it is a physical resource that I had the privilege of managing on God's behalf. In hindsight, I recognize that my responsibility with respect to this house was to maintain and improve it, so that it would be ready for the next person(s) that God wanted to occupy it. When viewed in that light, every time I mowed the lawn, updated the landscaping, or renovated/repaired something in the house, I was actually being a steward, and not an owner. I have a very clear picture of this now that we are renting the house from the buyers. None of my actions will really change over the next 3 months, but they will all be focused towards keeping the home in proper shape for the next occupants. To me, this is a picture of how we should think about our own lives. Our lives are not our own, even though it may look like it. We are stewards of our time, resources, money, and skills, not owners. When we don't use them, or when we misuse them, we do not just harm ourselves, but we defraud those that follow us.

I have to say that I sure felt good being on the "selling" side of the table as opposed to the "buying" side. I had forgotten the sheer weight of what it means to purchase a home. All of the financial responsibilities, coupled with the maintenance that is sure to come, is something we get too used to. From a Christian perspective, we need to be doubly or triply aware of what we are doing when it comes to such a large scale purchase; "ownership" is a two-way street, and a large-scale purchase like a home ends up owning the owner as much as the owner owns the purchase (if not more). This has real implications for our ability to be free to go where God calls us, or to have the energy and time to give to others.

Finally, it was interesting to sit in the same chairs (or at least, the same spot at the table), in the same room, at the same title company, where we signed for our home 5 years ago. A lot of memories came flooding back. This house has been the place where we have celebrated some of the happiest moments of my life: bringing Ian home from the hospital to a house full of grandparents and great grandparents, celebrating Ian's first birthday with a big party on a gorgeous early Spring day, and numerous other dinners and/or parties with family and friends. I also thought about how this house was the site of the most painful loss I've ever known, and how the few moments on Earth that I had with my second son were here.

I could write much more, but I won't...mainly because I need to work on my dissertation.

Cheers.

--Eric

the Potty Train

Since Ian is almost two, we're in the full-throws of potty training! It's actually been kind of fun, believe it or not. We've enjoyed watching him become more independent and aware. And while the many trips to the bathroom during the day get kind of tedious sometimes, we recognize that it's all a means to an end -- his eventual complete independence -- and that's a good thing. Here are some pictures of him enjoying his "potty time."

For help with how to go about this venture, we've taken information from our parents, our friends, and some books, and put it all together in our own way. One of the most helpful sources of information has been Jill M. Lekovic's book, Diaper-Free Before Three, the self-described "healthier way to toilet train and help your child out of diapers sooner." She outlines potty-training as a very gradual and natural process. As a pediatrician and a mother of three, she gives some wonderful tips that have helped us a lot in this whole adventure.

One tip we took from my parents, though, was the idea of a sticker chart, which they used on me when I was being potty-trained. While Lekovic doesn't recommend using actual rewards (besides verbal praise) for using the toilet, we kind of got in a rut with Ian where he just wasn't interested anymore. So I drew up this chart with two of his favorite things: a choo-choo and stickers. He really gets a kick out of putting a sticker on the chart after he's produced something in the toilet -- a little sticker for a "pee" and a bigger sticker for a "poo." It's always a big celebration when he's allowed to run bare-bottomed into the kitchen and attach a sticker to the train track. As you can see, in just the first five days, he really did well on his output! Since then, he's already rounded the corner of his choo-choo track and is well on his way to becoming potty trained. Hallelujah!
If anyone else has any ideas or tips you want to share, we're all ears!

Into the Clear Blue Sky

So I was driving home from the grocery store yesterday with Ian in the back seat. It was a chilly, blustery morning, and I had finished my weekly shopping much earlier than I normally do. As I crossed the overpass above State Road 37, I saw a huddled figure walking over the bridge. Glancing at the person while driving by, I noticed that it was a middle-aged woman. Since there is nothing on that highway for a couple more miles, I decided to stop and see if she needed a ride. Chances were, if she was walking that direction, she was probably going to someplace in my neighborhood and would probably appreciate not having to walk the whole distance in that weather. After inviting her, she got in my car, out of the wind.

Her name was Eileen. She was going to the license branch near my house to take care of a title matter with her RV. Her car broke down a week ago, and she's relatively new to Bloomington and didn't know anyone, which is why she was forced to walk. After guessing that she was a student, I asked what she was studying. As it turns out, she's a Ph.D. student in Human and Family Resources, focusing on miscarriage intervention and therapy. Interesting! I informed her that I recently had a miscarriage, and she began to immediately open up to me and explain why she chose this particular career path. It seems that several different events in her life have served to prepare her to work in this field, not the least of which was her daughter's experiencing a rather horrid miscarriage with very little emotional or physical support. She's also written a short book designed to help women through the loss of a child, whether unborn or not.

Once we got to the license branch, I gave her my phone number so she could call me when she was finished and I could take her back into Bloomington. Because she seemed so independent, I was surprised when she actually did call me about 45 minutes after I got back to the house. So, Ian and I jumped back in the car and picked her up from the license branch. By this time, it was sleeting horribly. I was so glad she didn't have to walk 5-6 miles in that! However, she admitted that the only reason she allowed me to give her a ride again was so she could give me a copy of her book, which she did once we arrived at her house. We parted ways then, after she shared that she felt the universe brought us together so we could participate in "reciprocal assistance." I smiled to myself as I thought, "Yes, the 'Universe,' indeed."

I'm so thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to meet this highly interesting woman. I almost drove right by her, thinking that I had groceries in the car, or that I might be putting my son in "danger" by picking up a strange person on the side of the road, but God spoke as clearly to me as He ever has that I needed to stop. Maybe it was for my benefit. Maybe it was for her encouragement. Maybe it was both.

--Lisa

PS: If you're interested in a copy of her book, email me, and I'll put you in contact with Eileen.

Christ the Lord is risen...He is risen indeed!!!

I love Easter.

I love the whole week leading up to Easter, and the reflection and contemplation that takes place when I stop to think about what Christ went through on this earth. I love the significance of Passover and thinking about Jesus' last supper with his best friends and the sorrowful contemplation of Good Friday with the hope of Sunday morning. I love waking up on Sunday morning with rejoicing. I love the bright colors and flowers and happy music. I love singing "The Hallelujah Chorus" at my church on Sunday; it gives me chills every time. I love making or partaking of a celebration dinner made up of delicious food and time spent with people I love. But most of all, I love the fact that we have a God who not only understands our human experience intimately, but also is truly alive and living.

It's this fact that makes me want to jump for joy when reciting the ancient liturgy: "Christ the Lord is risen....He is risen indeed!!!!"