RIP, Audrey

176,141 and 4,872.

That's the number of miles our old 1996 Pontiac Sunfire clocked and the number of days she "lived" before she passed away yesterday on a routine shopping trip to Walmart.

"Audrey," as I affectionately called her (in remembrance of Audrey Hepburn), was a sleek, dependable, low-maintenance coupe that we acquired 6 1/2 years ago for a very reasonable price from Eric's brother Rob, who bought her brand-spankin' new on November 3rd of 1995. She lived a full, mostly well-cared for life (modulo the many years she sat outside in the wintery driveways of both of her owners), and died quickly and painlessly at a stoplight, never to run again.

(Note: She probably could run again; we just don't want to pay more than twice her worth to fix her when we were planning on selling her anyway.)

So, alas, she will spend the rest of her days in various pieces in a junkyard, and we will go on living without her....which is what our plans were in the first place! We were kinda hoping to get a couple hundred bucks out of her before this happened, but oh well! We're thankful for the many years and miles she's given us and will always think of her fondly.

R.I.P., Audrey.

Eric and I sitting in the car together for the last time. The purple flowers and Hebrew character necklace that used to grace the rearview mirror were also celebrating with us and will be put away in a memory box.

Things That Could Potentially Be Stressing Me Out Right Now...

1. My unmade bed
2. That gunky stuff on the bathroom sink
3. The pile of dishes on my kitchen counter
4. The dust bunny on my hallway floor
5. My still-awake toddler who is supposed to be napping
6. The amazing quantity of holey socks in my sock drawer
7. The fact that I'm not adding anything to the family finances this semester
8. The piles of yet-to-be-paid bills and stacks of paper to "deal with" on my desk
9. The unfinished detail painting projects around the house
10. Questioning whether we'll be able to make the budget this month
11. Wondering if my toddler will ever learn how to obey (and joyfully!)
12. Wondering if I'm cut out to be a parent at all
13. Trying to find the intersection between discipline and grace
14. Hoping I'm a good enough wife/daughter/friend
15. Considering the many children in the world starving to death and wondering if I'm doing enough to help them
16. Speculating about whether God loves me as much as He says He does

But, ironically, they're not.

At this moment, I'm at peace. At this moment, I'm finding rest. And those are things I haven't been allowing myself to experience enough lately. Instead, these past few days, I've been letting Satan tempt me to despair over all these silly things. Thankfully, I have a loving husband and a gracious Heavenly Father who have both encouraged me to alter my perspective today.

Who knows what 5 minutes from now will bring, but hopefully, even then, I'll be able to say,

"My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock and my Salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
(Psalm 62)

~~~~
Aaron Keyes has a great rendition of this psalm in contemporary song form. If you're feeling a lack of peace and have 5 minutes to give it a listen, I highly recommend it.

Snow Days

Today marked the end of a cold snap we've been having this week, with temperatures in the -teens. (Thankfully, temps didn't get as cold or last as long as poor Sherri and Adam had to deal with in Alaska recently.) We'd received a lot of snow along with the colder weather, but weren't able to enjoy it due to safety reasons. So, today, we suited up and took advantage of a balmy 21 degrees to play in the fluffy white stuff. Unfortunately, it was still too dry for fun things like making snowmen and forts, but we made the best of it and made trails through our backyard instead. Believe it or not, it was Ian's first time of really playing in the snow. We never got much snow in Bloomington, and because of that, we didn't buy him a snowsuit until this year. But now that he has one and we live in a place that does get snow, we'll be spending much more time outside this winter! (Hallelujah!)

The rest of day has been spent putting together a workable budget for this year, watching lots of basketball, and eating a yummy lunch of leftover curried carrot soup and hummus/red pepper sandwiches. It's so nice to have real Saturdays again. Now that we're done going through crazy transitions (for now, at least...you never know what's going to come up), we've been able to settle into a more normal routine and actually enjoy our weekends. It feels so good!

Quick Update

Ok, it's been over a month since I've posted anything, so I'm going to give the Reader's Digest version of our life over the past 32 days. Here ya go!

Dec. 14: We went to a Colts' game in Indianapolis with my parents as a Christmas gift from them (thanks, Mom and Dad!) It was our first time in the new Lucas Oil Stadium (a.k.a., "the Luke") and Ian's first Colts game ever. Fun family times all around!

Dec. 21: We hosted the Amstutz Family Christmas....not just my immediate family, but my Dad's whole family. Yes, the ENTIRE family (modulo my sister and her husband, who thought the drive from Alaska was just too far) descended upon our house! A total of 38 people came for a potluck (or a "pitch-in" for you southerners) dinner of mammoth proportions. Wonderfully enough, everything went without a hitch, there seemed to be plenty of room (I love our new house!) and a good time was had by all! Eric and I thoroughly enjoyed hosting this year!

Dec. 24: It's me and Eric's yearly tradition to make Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner, and this year, his family got to enjoy it with us! We made a homemade Chinese FEAST! Coupled with present-time with three toddlers, it was a fun day!

Dec. 25: A nice, relaxed Christmas morning at home where Ian played with his new wooden Thomas track for a marathon 3 hours (an eternity for a toddler) while Eric and I sipped tea and packed for our big trip to Charlotte. After lunch, we drove to Fort Wayne to celebrate Christmas evening with my parents and brother.

Dec 26-Jan.3: The best vacation we've had since our honeymoon! Thanks to our best friends, the Dunn's, we had a relaxing and pleasant ten days away from home in Charlotte, North Carolina. We got to meet their brand-new daughter Kestrel, and Ian and Taliesin had plenty of time to get to know each other and learn about sharing. Andrea and I (who love to cook together) experimented with jalapeno pepper jelly and homemade tamales. Both were huge successes! Eric and JD spent time playing video games and doing "guy stuff" on their deck. Also, lots of "Settlers of Catan: Cities and Knights" was played and enjoyed by all. Even though some games get heated, we all coming back for more! The trip ended with us being delayed for about three hours while we got a gas leak checked out at a very kind and helpful Charlotte Pontiac dealership. Thankfully, Audrey (our Sunfire who rolled over 175,000 miles during that week) was good enough to drive home. She's been a good car, she has.

Jan 3-4: We made a stop in Kentucky on our way home from Charlotte to break up the trip into more manageable portions...and to see our dear friends the Long's! Time spent with them in their home is always refreshing and encouraging. We hope if we have 5 kids someday, that our home runs as smoothly!

Jan. 6: Ian's first Bethel Basketball game...the first of many, I'm sure. Bethel's ranked nationally at 2nd in their division (NAIA Div. II) and is quite fun to watch! Go Pilots!

Jan. 8: First day of Spring Semester for Eric. I won't be teaching this semester, as Bethel doesn't have a course for me to teach, but I will be tutoring some of my students from last semester, getting more involved at church, and beginning home preschool with Ian. It should still be a full semester for me! And it will definitely be full for him. Next week is the first big council meeting to determine whether the TESOL program is a go at Bethel for next year. Eric's been spending hours and hours planning, researching, collaborating, and revising the proposal we're going to take to the council. In fact, as I type, he's working on the finishing touches of the 36-page report for the council to review. While our future at Bethel rests strongly on the outcome of this proposal, we're not worried. God has us here for a reason and He's always taken care of us!

That pretty much takes us up to today, which was spent switching around some of our bank accounts, taking care of some administrative details, playing basketball over lunch at Bethel, and finishing up some of the details on the TESOL proposal. The weather is frigidly cold and snow is piling up like crazy, so we're taking it easy and enjoying a more relaxed pace. Life is good.

Frank-Ian-stein

I was broom sweeping around the fireplace yesterday morning at about 11:15 with Ian running around the living room and dining room, when I heard him crash into something and fall down. Since this happens about 500 times a day (he is a "toddler," after all, people!), I kept on sweeping and casually asked, "Ian, you ok?" Then the screaming ensued. I turned around to see my little boy running towards me with blood flowing down his face and smeared all over it by his hand. Blood was dripping all over his clothes and onto the floor. Quite a shocking sight for a mom. I guess he wasn't quite ok.

So after getting him cleaned up and attempting to put some ice on the goose egg that was rapidly forming on his noggin -- a feat which he refused to let me accomplish with all his might -- I made us a quick lunch of peanut butter sandwiches and fruit, and made the (blessedly short) trek to the local immediate care clinic. Thankfully, the bleeding from the cavernous gash on his forehead was reduced to a trickle that was easily wiped up every 5 minutes or so with a damp paper towel.

There, Ian experienced the application of his first stitches: four of them to be exact. We were there for most of the afternoon and finally left around 3:00 (after some precautionary x-rays and a lot of waiting), after which Eric and I took him to McDonald's for some much-deserved ice cream.

All in all, I was proud of his behavior throughout the day. Here are some fun highlights:

* While we were still at home before leaving, I tried to find out what he had hurt himself on. I asked, "Where did you bump your head, Ian?" He looked a little confused, pointed at his forehead, and said, "Right there, Mommy."

* A minute or two before the doctor came in to stitch him up, he commented to me, "Fun day, Mommy! Thank you fun day!" He had already received a Bob the Builder sticker and gotten to play with a stethoscope, so he thought he was in heaven. All I could say was, "I'm glad you're having fun!" He had no idea what was coming....

* Mere moments after screaming and thrashing around so badly that it took three of us to hold him down (me and 2 very patient nurses) while the doctor stitched him up, Ian literally hopped off the table and said in a very happy voice, "All done! Play now?"

* The doctor gave him a neon orange bandaid for his stitches, which Ian was very proud of. Every person at the clinic who asked him what he did after that got a description of his "cool or'nge ban-naid."

Here's a picture of Ian with his two face scars in front of the Christmas tree this morning -- the other cut on his chin was from falling headlong into his bathroom step stool a few days ago. As you can see, he's quite proud of himself!

Tunnels, walls, and choo-choos

Nearly everyday (and usually many times throughout the day), I hear this sweet little voice ask, "Mommy? Build tunnel?" I'm tellin' ya, the kid is obsessed with tunnels right now and I have to admit, sometimes I get tired of building tunnels. Sometimes I'd much rather read a grown-up book or peruse status updates on Facebook or hide my head under the fluffy comforter on my bed and take a good, long nap. But since I love the kid so darn much, and he usually asks so nicely, I indulge him in some tunnel-building together for at least a few minutes a day. And it usually turns out to be quite fun.

Like a couple days ago when we were still both in our jammies (I won't mention how late in the morning it was), Ian got out all of his wooden blocks and his wooden train set, and we had a big ol' tunnel/wall/track building party. It wasn't the first time he'd integrated all of these toys into one elaborate masterpiece, but it was the first time I'd thought to get the camera out while doing it. So here ya go: the progression of Ian's building expertise.

building the tunnel

Ian with his wall

Tunnel, wall, and choo-choo, all together

And later that day, while playing with Daddy.....

We love the fact that he gets so much use out of the wooden toys we've carefully picked out for him. We intentionally look for toys with which he can use his imagination and play with in all sorts of ways. He really is learning how to use his imagination and play time is getting to be more and more fun! Maybe tomorrow, I'll think twice about wanting to take that nap....

Stuff Christians Like

Our cousin Beth clued us in on this funny blog by a guy in Atlanta. He dedicates his website to talking about the oddities of American Christian culture and allows his readers to make fun of themselves along with him. I love to see what crazy things he's talking about each day!

90% of a Decade

Eric reminded me today that we both forgot our dating anniversary last week on October 8th! We've been so preoccupied with program development and classes at Bethel, renovating our new house, and gearing up for yet another move that it completely slipped our minds! We usually have a small celebration where we at least go out to dinner to commemorate the day, but this year the evening was spent grading papers and watching an episode of "Chuck" online. We might have had some ice cream.

The reason Eric even remembered it was that he was thinking about what a beautiful fall day it is...very similar to many of the fall days during that semester in 1999 when we spent a lot of time talking walks together (sometimes skipping class to do so!) while enjoying the cool breezes, bright colors, and flitting grayish clouds overhead. Fall always reminds us of the beginnings of our relationship, which is one reason why it's such a special time of year for us. (See my post from 9/12/07.)

So nine years later, here we are, working at Bethel and living in the same neighborhood, enjoying the exact same breezes, colors, and sky that we did in that fateful fall of 1999. Here's hoping for many more to enjoy together!

Book Report -- In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

My friend Andrea was reading this book, and after hearing a brief synopsis from her, I was intrigued. Not the "I-have-to-read-that-now!" kind of intrigued, but the sort of curiosity about something that you know will shake up your life a little bit, even if you don't really feel like shaking things up. Deep down, I really like complacency. It's comfortable. It feels better to be a little ignorant and keep living life the way you always have than to stumble across new information that shocks you a little bit into making some changes.

Which, of course, is what this book by Michael Pollan did, to some extent. Now, our household has been on an on-going quest for a healthy lifestyle ever since Eric and I got married. Little by little, we've been educating ourselves on finding the right balance of nutrition and exercise to keep our bodies and minds working as well as possible. So it's not like I've never thought about the things In Defense of Food pontificates on. Pollan just gave me a little more information...."food for thought," if you will.

The premise behind In Defense of Food is that we Americans don't eat like we were intended to eat as human beings, and we need to get back to the basics. Pollan suggests a mindset that is driven by reminding oneself to: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." In other words, eat mostly real, whole food, not "food products" created by science. Don't stuff yourself; it's just not healthy. And while there are some definite health benefits to eating meat, dairy, and grains, try to focus more on eating plants instead. For more information, read the book. :)

While Pollan didn't convince me that all "food products" are evil, he did convince me to at least think more carefully about the food I purchase and consume and its affect on both my body and the environment. For instance, I'm trying to frequent our local farmer's market more often for my produce than my local mega-mart. The food I can find there comes straight from the earth and has mostly been raised without pesticides and fertilizers...and is a heckuva lot cheaper than visiting the organic section of the regular grocery store. Thankfully, South Bend has an indoor farmer's market that is open three days a week, so I can actually fit this into my lifestyle in a more convenient fashion. Also, instead of going straight for the nutrition facts on food labels, I'm trying to worry less about the fat/protein/carb/calorie content (although those things should still be considered in a balanced diet) and concentrate more on exactly what is in the food I'm buying. Ideally, an ingredient list should consist of mostly food. I know, I know, that sounds crazy! But all those food derivatives (high fructose corn syrup, sodium bicarbonate, maltodextrin, monosodium glutamate, to name a few) are simply not food.

So anyway, I came away from the book having learned some things, as well as having more questions pop up in my mind to be considered in later research. But for now, I'm taking to heart his admonition to eat food, not too much, and mostly plants. What do I have to lose?

Cousins

Ian's been meeting a lot of cousins lately!

Last week, we went to Plymouth to get together with Eric's cousin Beth, who was visiting her parents for a few days from southern Indiana. We hadn't met her youngest son Jay yet and wanted the little kids to all have a chance to play together. We went to a nearby park, then had a delicious lunch prepared by Aunt Rachael (Eric's aunt, who is also a good old family friend of my family from way back when!). We were able to get the kids to sit still long enough to get this shot of Ian, Jay, Annabelle, and Joey:
Then yesterday, Ian and I drove to Fort Wayne to meet my brother's daughter, Kennice. She's such a cutie pie! For the few hours I was around her, she seemed quite content and happy. After Ian ate Mom's delicious dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans and homemade applesauce (before which he was Mister Grumpus), he enjoyed playing a little bit with his baby cousin. It was a fun evening! So here are some pictures of Kennice and Ian:

My mom and dad with their two grandchildren:

Fun times, all around!