90% of a Decade

Eric reminded me today that we both forgot our dating anniversary last week on October 8th! We've been so preoccupied with program development and classes at Bethel, renovating our new house, and gearing up for yet another move that it completely slipped our minds! We usually have a small celebration where we at least go out to dinner to commemorate the day, but this year the evening was spent grading papers and watching an episode of "Chuck" online. We might have had some ice cream.

The reason Eric even remembered it was that he was thinking about what a beautiful fall day it is...very similar to many of the fall days during that semester in 1999 when we spent a lot of time talking walks together (sometimes skipping class to do so!) while enjoying the cool breezes, bright colors, and flitting grayish clouds overhead. Fall always reminds us of the beginnings of our relationship, which is one reason why it's such a special time of year for us. (See my post from 9/12/07.)

So nine years later, here we are, working at Bethel and living in the same neighborhood, enjoying the exact same breezes, colors, and sky that we did in that fateful fall of 1999. Here's hoping for many more to enjoy together!

Book Report -- In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

My friend Andrea was reading this book, and after hearing a brief synopsis from her, I was intrigued. Not the "I-have-to-read-that-now!" kind of intrigued, but the sort of curiosity about something that you know will shake up your life a little bit, even if you don't really feel like shaking things up. Deep down, I really like complacency. It's comfortable. It feels better to be a little ignorant and keep living life the way you always have than to stumble across new information that shocks you a little bit into making some changes.

Which, of course, is what this book by Michael Pollan did, to some extent. Now, our household has been on an on-going quest for a healthy lifestyle ever since Eric and I got married. Little by little, we've been educating ourselves on finding the right balance of nutrition and exercise to keep our bodies and minds working as well as possible. So it's not like I've never thought about the things In Defense of Food pontificates on. Pollan just gave me a little more information...."food for thought," if you will.

The premise behind In Defense of Food is that we Americans don't eat like we were intended to eat as human beings, and we need to get back to the basics. Pollan suggests a mindset that is driven by reminding oneself to: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." In other words, eat mostly real, whole food, not "food products" created by science. Don't stuff yourself; it's just not healthy. And while there are some definite health benefits to eating meat, dairy, and grains, try to focus more on eating plants instead. For more information, read the book. :)

While Pollan didn't convince me that all "food products" are evil, he did convince me to at least think more carefully about the food I purchase and consume and its affect on both my body and the environment. For instance, I'm trying to frequent our local farmer's market more often for my produce than my local mega-mart. The food I can find there comes straight from the earth and has mostly been raised without pesticides and fertilizers...and is a heckuva lot cheaper than visiting the organic section of the regular grocery store. Thankfully, South Bend has an indoor farmer's market that is open three days a week, so I can actually fit this into my lifestyle in a more convenient fashion. Also, instead of going straight for the nutrition facts on food labels, I'm trying to worry less about the fat/protein/carb/calorie content (although those things should still be considered in a balanced diet) and concentrate more on exactly what is in the food I'm buying. Ideally, an ingredient list should consist of mostly food. I know, I know, that sounds crazy! But all those food derivatives (high fructose corn syrup, sodium bicarbonate, maltodextrin, monosodium glutamate, to name a few) are simply not food.

So anyway, I came away from the book having learned some things, as well as having more questions pop up in my mind to be considered in later research. But for now, I'm taking to heart his admonition to eat food, not too much, and mostly plants. What do I have to lose?

Cousins

Ian's been meeting a lot of cousins lately!

Last week, we went to Plymouth to get together with Eric's cousin Beth, who was visiting her parents for a few days from southern Indiana. We hadn't met her youngest son Jay yet and wanted the little kids to all have a chance to play together. We went to a nearby park, then had a delicious lunch prepared by Aunt Rachael (Eric's aunt, who is also a good old family friend of my family from way back when!). We were able to get the kids to sit still long enough to get this shot of Ian, Jay, Annabelle, and Joey:
Then yesterday, Ian and I drove to Fort Wayne to meet my brother's daughter, Kennice. She's such a cutie pie! For the few hours I was around her, she seemed quite content and happy. After Ian ate Mom's delicious dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans and homemade applesauce (before which he was Mister Grumpus), he enjoyed playing a little bit with his baby cousin. It was a fun evening! So here are some pictures of Kennice and Ian:

My mom and dad with their two grandchildren:

Fun times, all around!

A New Life for Ian

from Lisa

You may notice that the last two posts, as well as this one, are all talking about "new" things. It's been two months since we came to South Bend, and we're still in that transition period. Some days, we really miss Bloomington and our friends there, but most of the time, we're completely stoked to be where we are and to be headed in the direction we seem to be going with our lives. Even still, some adjustment is required. Even little Ian is processing things in his own way, as evidenced by this conversation we had in the Jeep on Monday morning on our way to Meijer for this week's groceries:

Ian: "New church, Mommy?"
Me: "No, Ian, we're not going to the new church today. We're going to Meijer!"

(thoughtful silence on Ian's part)

Ian: "No old church....new church. No Marsh....Meijer."
Me: "That's right, Ian!"

(more thoughtful silence)

Ian: "No old house....new house. No IU....Bethel."

The little guy is obviously starting to realize that we have a different life than we used to. Thankfully, this fact doesn't seem to bother him much, but it's pretty interesting to hear him process the differences out loud. I'm sure there are things he misses about those "old" things, but at least he seems to be on board with embracing the "new" things. I'm so thankful!

New House!

Yep, we're buying a house. A few years ago, when the far-off idea of coming back to Bethel was just being tossed around in various people's heads, Eric and I began dreaming what that might entail.

"We could be professors at Bethel, starting a new program to help the school fulfill its mission. We could be involved in students' lives the way some key people were involved in our lives when we were students. And maybe, just maybe, we could buy a house in Bercliff Estates and live only blocks away from campus so we could walk to work every day and be accessible to the students we're mentoring."

At the time, it was all just pie-in-the-sky style dreaming. But now, we're actually living it. And quite often, we look at each other and say incredulously, "Can you believe this is actually happening?"

But it is. Even down to the part about living in the neighborhood we had hoped to someday live in.

The funny thing is, we looked at this house during our house-hunting marathon last spring, and ruled it out due to price and amount of work that needed to be done on it. However, since then, the house has become empty, the hardwood floors have all been refinished, and the price dropped within a reasonable distance of our price cap. So we thought, "Why not look at it again?" After doing so, we put an embarrassingly low offer on the house (which was the best we could do), and with some negotiation over a couple of weeks, it was accepted. Then came the round of inspections to deal with, where more negotiating took place. In the end, the sellers graciously conceded to let us have the house at a price we can easily afford and with a doable amount of work left to be done. Praise God!

So this will be our new home in another month or two:
We are so thankful to God that all of this is taking place! We just sit in incredulity at how He orchestrates things in ways we never would have imagined! Sometimes He gives us exactly what we want, and sometimes He gives us exactly what we need...which we then later realize was best all along. This situation happens to fit in both categories.

PS: For those of you who are Facebook users, I've posted more pictures of the inside of the house on my profile.

New Animal Friends

This week we've tried to get out and enjoy South Bend a little bit before we dive into the school year, so on Wednesday morning, we went to the nearby Potawatomi Zoo as a family. I had never been to that particular zoo (to my recollection...maybe I went there as a baby/toddler when my family lived in the area), and it was a nice, little zoo with a heavy emphasis on protecting and increasing endangered species. We saw all sorts of exotic animals like red pandas, bison, snow leopards, white-naped cranes, and chinese alligators. While the morning started out cool, by the time lunch time rolled around, it was hot and we were all ready to get home for Ian's nap, but not before finishing the day with a ride on the "choo-choo," the highlight of the day for Ian.

Ian watching the tiger

Ian was afraid of the goats!

Eric and Ian on the train

Yesterday, we also made a new friend who came right to our patio door and asked for food: a little kitty! She was so hungry and so sweet, and she let Ian do almost anything to her. She just kept cuddling right up next to him. They ate their afternoon snacks together, and she spent the entire rest of the evening dozing on and under our patio furniture. By this morning, she was gone, and we haven't seen her at all today. Here are some pictures of our new friend, though:

A Quick Update

We're still here! It's been almost 3 weeks since we updated, and a LOT has happened! On the 10th of July, Eric successfully defended his dissertation! It was a beautiful day with lots of people we love milling about. Here are some pictures from the day:

Eric giving the presentation

After the defense, waiting to hear the final verdict

Ph.inisheD.!

On the afternoon of the defense, Ian went home with his Nana and Pop where he spent a few days before switching to his Mimi and Papa's house. They all kept him so we could finish packing and make the move up north a little easier. (Thanks again, Moms and Dads!) Then, a couple days after the defense, Eric turned 29! He's calling this year the "victory lap" of his 20's -- and what an exciting year it's already turning out to be!

Less than a week after the defense, we packed up all our belongings in a Uhaul and moved back up to South Bend. I can't describe how weird it felt to be driving up US31 into South Bend, knowing that we were coming back after six years. Not weird in a bad way....just strange because when we moved south to Bloomington, we never imagined that we'd take the same road back up to our new-old home. It's very exciting! We're so happy about the chance to teach and be involved at Bethel College. It's amazing how God works!

So now, we're getting settled into our apartment and beginning to keep our eyes open for possible house candidates within walking distance of campus. Ian is adjusting fine and seems to even like his new surroundings. He's just glad the cat is still here!

Cheers!

We had a very nice 4th of July yesterday! Even though the weather brought the coldest Independence Day I ever remember experiencing, we got to spend time with some good friends and each other. We also ate lots of yummy food! Isn't that the hallmark of every truly good holiday?

In other news, lately, Ian's been celebrating every single meal with his own toast. Sometime early in the meal, he lifts his sippy cup and says, "Cheers", eagerly expecting us to follow suit...which, of course, we do. It's become a fun family ritual at any meal. We have no idea where he got it from! He may have seen us do it once or twice, but we very rarely say "Cheers" when we toast, so who knows! At any rate, it's fun.

Also, he loves to help water the miniature garden we put out this year of one cherry tomato plant and three basil plants. He lugs the watering can across the yard, and painstakingly pours water on our thirsty plants. He's always so proud of himself when he's done, and we usually have to fill the watering can another two or three times before he's satisfied. So cute.

Good Thought; Bad Implementation

Here's a quick, random little Ian story.

A few weeks ago I put Ian on the potty after a failed nap attempt. My patience was rather short, and I was not feeling very good, so I just gave him a book and told him to call for me after he was done going to the bathroom (this is actually standard procedure when Ian is stalling, but I've begun to extend it to times when I'm just plain annoyed with him). That same day I had been putting away laundry, and I had left a pile of wash cloths on the sink counter which is next to the toilet.

After leaving Ian in the bathroom, I went out to the couch to lay down for a couple minutes while he did his business. For two or three minutes I could hear him chattering to himself while "reading" his book. Then, after a little while, it dawned on me that there had been complete silence from the bathroom for at least 30 seconds.

I quietly got up from the couch and tip-toed down the hall and peeked into the bathroom. Two things immediately jumped out at me:

1. Ian, seated on his seat, with a very thoughtful look was staring intently down into the toilet bowl. He had his hands curled up into little fists that were resting on his hips.

2. My stack of washcloths was no longer there.

I said, "Ian, whatcha doin' buddy?"

He looked up at me saying, "Uh-oh. Shorry. Mess."

What had happened was that he had peed all over the place, and had apparently tried to clean it up with the wash cloths that were on the counter. However, he had accidentally dropped them into the toilet.

I just shook my head, and we both started laughing.

Choices, choices

About a month ago, I blogged about the ideas we got from the book Parenting with Love and Logic. Since then, we've tailored some of their ideas to our own situation and personalities. One way we've done this is by using choices to help lead Ian to a result that is not an option. For instance, all the steps leading up to a nap are laden with choices for him. "Do you want to sit on the big potty or the little potty? Do you want the grey sweatpants or the green sweatpants? Do you want the blue blanket or the green blanket? Do you want the duck book or the doggie book?" The wonderful thing about all these choices is that none of the specifics matter to us. What does matter to us is that he's still going potty, he's still putting on sweatpants, and he's still going down for a nap, but he feels like he's a part of the process and does everything much more willingly.

For another example, Ian often likes to climb into his own car seat now, instead of being placed there by us, and when we try to force him into the seat because he's taking too long (playing with the buckles, etc.), it's a struggle, to say the least! However, if we simply say to him as we're approaching the car, "Ian, do you want to get in your car seat by yourself, or do you want Mommy/Daddy to put you in?", he can answer either way and he knows what to expect when he gets in the car. Getting in the car seat is not an option, but how he gets in there is. The "Do you want to ______, or do you want Mommy/Daddy to ______" is a very powerful tool. It puts him in the driver's seat while still putting him on the right road to where we want to go. It seems that it's all about setting the stage for the situation so he knows what to expect.

In dealing with undesired behavior, the choices also work quite well. If he's being exorbitantly loud at dinner, we calmly tell him, "You can either sit nicely and quietly in your chair, or you can play on the floor without food. Which do you want to do: eat or play?" If he chooses to eat, but continues to have inappropriate table manners (we're talking about things a 2-year-old reasonably has control over -- his mouth and loud antics), we gently take him down out of his chair and his supper is over, which means he probably goes to bed a little hungry. We've only had to do this once so far. An empty tummy is a powerful consequence to misbehavior related to food. However, a full tummy and the enjoyment of dinner is also a powerful consequence and motivation to straighten up. The trick is coming up with consequences that are applicable to the situation, and making it clear that the action leading to those consequences is his own choice.

I can't help but think that these choices are helping him become a more responsible individual, in the long run. I hope that the more situations he comes across to learn from his choices, the better choices he'll make as he gets older. All of this mixed with empathy and instruction about God's love may lead him in the right direction. I hope! Like my friend Anne says, it's kind of like "preventive" parenting: staying one step ahead of your child and predicting what might set him/her off, then being upfront with the child about the situation so that their actions really are their choice.